I am insecure.
Just emitting that sentence out loud was an extremely hard thing to do, but it started me in the right direction.
As a girl, I came to terms with the terrible thought that I would never be able to keep up with other girls when it came to looks. As a fourteen year old, I decided for myself that being “ugly” was my fate. I felt like anyone who would love me and did love me were all just really interested in my personality. At the time, it didn’t seem like a super bad thing. My reasoning was, “I’m still worth it because I’m funny/smart/kind/etc”. Obviously, as a girl I didn’t realize how toxic it was and how its affects would haunt me in my young adult years. Today, I am 21 years old with an infinite amount to learn and still a ways to go when it comes to fighting my CONSTANT feelings of adequacy, but I would love to share what I’ve learned with those who struggle as well.
1.) Comparison is the devil
Comparing yourself to other people is a very easy thing to do and nearly impossible to not do because of our beloved social media, but you have to try. Be so worried about yourself that you don’t even have time to be concerned. Spend this time being extremely selfish and self centered
2.) Find people like you who you admire and leech off their self-love until you can do it for yourself!
Instead of getting rid of Instagram, try doing some spring cleaning on that followers list. Follow people that inspire you and make sure that you do it with well intention. Even if that means following a plethora of puppy pages, or babies, or Beyonce just follow something that makes you feel empowered enough to go and make these wonderful things happen for you, as well! Get a solid foundation to hold you accountable for loving yourself.
3.) Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable for loving yourself!
This year I got a group of girlfriends that I can’t thank God enough for. We don’t talk every day, but every so often a text hits the group message asking how we are doing and it is amazing. Being able to have this person or persons in our life that hold you accountable for loving yourself and others is extremely important. You will have your low days. You will have your lower days. You will also have your lowest days, but you don’t have to wallow alone. You have people to help. Surround yourself with those people.
4.) Go on a “negativity fast”.
I remember fasting from negative words. It’s nearly impossible to stop negative thoughts, but that doesn’t mean you have to speak them out loud. Try this: Before saying anything negative, say two things positive. It’ll be a force at the beginning, but after a while it’ll be second nature! This includes statements like, “I’m tired”, “I’m overwhelmed/stressed/tired”. Make your life a negativity free zone.
5.) Make everyday a productive day.
Try not to relax EVERY SINGLE DAY. Times of relaxation are great things, however, too much down time could be a reason for stagnancy. My mama always said, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” So, don’t give the devil means to ruin your life! Be productive. Give yourself purpose every day.
As always, remember life is hard and the choices people make to make it through it don't disqualify them from being a part of the race.
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